“Frientimacy”: Consistency in Realtionships.
Relationships with other people are one of the most important contributors to our well-being and sense of satisfaction in life. So naturally, we disregard prioritising our friendships to our own demise.
Previously we discussed how Positivity is a foundational block of any deep friendships. Today we will go on to the second part of Frientimacy - Consistency. According to the author, we cannot build the necessary trust and foundation to go deeper in our relationships with people without consistency.
Here are some things you can do to work on this aspect and build the muscle of prioritising others in your life:
Gift time to people.
Try:
Next week, what is one activity in your calendar that you’d be willing to swap out in order to practice making friendships a higher priority? Reach out right now to someone you’d like to spend time with and offer that time slot.
2. Be okay with inefficiency.
We don’t find perfect friendships as much as we develop them. So instead of being picky from the start, try to focus on being friendly with people around you. You might be surprised by who you end up getting along with.
Try:
Today, pretend you believe that everyone you meet is someone you’re meant to connect with. You won’t know the reason why, whether it’s for their sake, or yours—but imagine that the connection was destined and valuable. Observe how that impacts how you interact today. How do you show up differently? Does it end up taking more time? How does it make you feel?
3. Initiate courageously.
To invite someone is an act of courage. Initiating calls us to overcome our fear of rejection, but that is what helps us develop meaningful relationships with others. There are many reasons people might not initiate communication, starting from anxiety to temperament. However, this skill is just another muscle waiting for you to build it.
Try:
Whom in your life do you often wish you could spend more time with? Are you willing to initiate making that happen this week? Regardless of the outcome, your muscle for initiating will get stronger. The more you do it, the easier it will feel over time—as you remind yourself that initiating fosters the relationships you want.
4. Prioritise a few friends.
Don't spread yourself too thin - relationships take effort and dedication, so choose who you’d like to focus on.
Try:
What is one action you can take to put more consistency into a relationship you want to prioritise? Some examples might include:
•Ask a close friend if they’d be up for scheduling a regular phone call to help keep the two of you in better touch.
•Every time you’re out with someone you want to prioritise, say, “I always enjoy my time with you. Would you be up for scheduling something right now for our next get-together so it’s on our calendars?” And try scheduling a little sooner than would be typical.
•Invite all the women/men you know to join a weekly or biweekly get-together you’re starting. This way the people who are willing to make the time will show up more consistently.
•Ask a friend from work if they’d be willing to schedule a weekly lunch together.
So here it is - a little summary of the Consistency chapter. I hope you enjoyed the insights.
Next time we will talk about the third part of Frientimcay - Vulnerability.
Cheers,
C. Fox
More like that:
