How to protect your child without overly scaring them?
There is a lot of cases where children run away from home. The reasons might be that the child doesn’t see the house as a safe space, he is scared of being punished, or it might be caused by family conflicts, among the most common reasons.
We are all warned as children against “bad men” who “will take you away”. Children often meet those “bad men” (or women) when they run away. However, a typical “don’t talk to a bad man” suggestion might not cut it. The recent research suggests that 19 out of 20 kids will walk away with a stranger voluntarily. Children have a stereotypical image of a kidnapper, so they don’t react when ordinary, unsuspicious people come to them.
So what can you tell your child to protect them?
Don’t scare, educate.
Instead of saying that “there are lots of psychos out there”, “kids are kidnapped all the time”, “you can’t trust anybody”, “the street is dangerous”, etc.
Tell:
“With strangers, you have to behave like this…”
“Some people do bad things…”
“You can trust most people, but there are those who you shouldn’t, and you won’t understand who is who just by how they look.”
“You will be okay if you will follow the safety rules.”
“If somebody approaches you, here is what you can do…”
2. House is a place of power.
You will always be accepted and understood at home. Everything can be discussed and negotiated. Even if you fight with your parents, do not go away by slamming the door. Give everybody time to calm down, talk to them, explain your position, and hear them out why they think differently.
3. You DON’T have to listen to ALL adults.
Let’s discuss who you should listen to and who you should not, who is a close person and who is a stranger. Close people are only your immediate family members, those who live with you in one apartment.
4. Nobody can judge by appearance who is “good” and who is “bad”.
Even a nice young lady with a puppy is still a stranger, even if you know who she is.
5. Trust yourself.
If you think the adult behaves strangely, don’t doubt yourself - go away, run, shout and ask for help.
6. Adults DON’T ask for help from children.
So if an adult stranger is asking you for something, be careful - ask another adult to help him/her or say that you are in a rush and can’t help.
7. Always say “NO” to the suggestions of strangers.
If you are uncomfortable saying “No”, you can say, “Sorry, my mom doesn’t let me talk to strangers,” and walk away.
8. If somebody threatens you, it means they are very scared of something.
Any threat or suggestion to not say anything to your parents - is a good reason to tell your parents immediately. You don’t owe anything to anyone! If somebody requests something from you, ask yourself: “Why am I supposed to do this?” “Why do I have to wake up at 4:20, why do I have to go somewhere with this person, why do I have to open the door, or send my pictures?”
9. Call your parents when you reach somewhere or stay somewhere longer than expected, or if you decided to go for a walk, etc.
10. If a stranger suggests driving you back home, say “NO”.
Unless your parents warn you about somebody meeting you from school, always call your parents before getting into the car.
11. On the internet, do not show your real contact details and do not react to friendly offers from strangers.
You do not know who is behind the screen and pretending to be the same age friend. If strangers text you, tell your parents straight away.
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