Raising a child is difficult. That’s why it is worth exploring all the help you can get. Everything you do and don’t do matters, especially when it comes to your parenting.

Here we want to share with you the principles of raising your kids according to the professor of psychology, Jordan Peterson in hope that it might make your life and the life of your kids better and more satisfying.

Principle 1. Have a limited amount of rules.

Bad laws drive out respect for good laws, so don’t overdo it. It is better to have a limited amount of clear rules for your child so that he knows how to behave. Here are some examples. Do not bite, kick or hit, except for self-defense. Eat in a civilized manner so that others like to have you at their house. Go to sleep properly, so that parents can have a private life. Do not torture or bully other children. Learn to share. Be attentive to what adults say. 

All these rules will ensure your child knows how to live in a society and receive the benefits of beneficial communication. Of course, rules have to be given according to the child’s age. For example, a two-year-old might not understand how to be attentive to all that you say, but you can teach them to share their toys with other kids.

Principle 2. Use minimum necessary force with your children.

When a child misbehaves, start with the smallest possible intervention to correct behavior. Some children react to an angry stare, others to a verbal command. Some kids require a tumb-cocked flick of an index finger on a hand which is particularly useful when you are in public. Deprivation of liberty (time out) is also a very effective technic. You should watch your child and understand what is the minimal intervention needed for your child to learn the lesson. 

Do not let your children misbehave. At a young age, they experiment with what is allowed and what is not. If you do not prevent bad behavior, it will turn into a character and your child will have difficulty assimilating successfully into society. It is very good for the kids when they see others like them. Help them to be liked by reinforcing good behavior. 

Principle 3. Parents should come in pairs.

Raising children is demanding and exhausting. When we get tired or have bad days we prone to make mistakes. We need someone to discuss things with and to share the responsibility of carrying for kids. This is not to degrade single parents. It is to say that parents who have support and help are better of in their attempt to raise children successfully.

Principle 4. Understand your capacity to be bad.

There are toxic families everywhere. Families where there are no clear rules and randomly lashing our parents. Children suffer in such families. It often comes this way because people are not aware of their capacity to be vengeful and resentful. Ten minutes of a failed attempt to stop a tantrum in public by a all-too-nice-parents, and they will turn cold shoulder next time the child will run up to them excited to show a new drawing. Enough disobedience and embarrassment, and hypothetically selfless parent will turn resentful. It starts with less spontaneous offers of love and fewer opportunities for the personal development of a child, and can degrade into familial hatred. Do not let your children embarrass and disobey you, because nobody can let it slide unchecked for long. Be aware of your anger, so that you can control it, instead of letting it slowly corrupt your behavior.

Principle 5. Perhaps most importantly, parents should be proxies of the real world to their children.

This comes first before trying to make your child happy, foster creativity, and boost self-esteem. The primary role of a parent is to make their child socially desirable because this is what matters in human society. This includes giving them guidance and rules to follow and ensure their obedience. A child raised that way will have more opportunities, self-regard, and security. It is even more important than fostering individual identity because such things require a sophistication of a socially integrated person. 

Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.

If you liked this article, please share your thoughts. Do you already use any of these principles? Do you see the value in them? Share your experience with us and other people, because we are stronger together. 

Adapted from: 12 Rules For Life, J.B. Peterson. 

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