The message of The Little Match Girl
“The Little Match Girl” by Hans Christian Andersen.
There was a little girl who had neither a mother nor a father, and she lived in the dark forest. There was a village at the edge of the forest and she had learned she could buy matches for a half-penny there, and that she could sell them on the street, so that she could buy a crust of bread.
The winter came and it was very cold. She had no shoes, and her coat was so thin she could see through it. She wandered the streets and begged strangers, would they please buy matches from her? But no one stopped and no one paid any attention.
So she sat down one evening saying, “I have matches. I can light a fire and warm myself.” But she had no kindling and no wood. She decided to light the matches anyway.
She sat there and as she struck the first match, it seemed that the cold and the snow disappeared altogether. What she saw instead of swirling snow was a room with a great dark green ceramic stove with a door with iron scrollwork. The stove emanated so much heat it made the air wavy. She snuggled up close to the stove and it felt heavenly.
But all of a sudden the stove went out, and she was again sitting in the snow, shivering so bitterly the bones in her face chimed. And so she struck the second match, and the light fell upon the wall of the building next to where she sat and she could see through it. In the room behind the wall was a snowy cloth covering a table, and there on the platter was a goose that had just been cooked, and just as she was reaching for his repast, the vision disappeared.
She was again in the snow. But now her knees and her hips no longer hurt. Now the cold was stinging its way up her arms and torso, so she lit the third match.
And in the light of the third match was a beautiful Christmas tree, beautifully decorated with white candles with lacy ruffs and thousands of little dots of light.
As she looked up this enormous tree, that went higher and higher until it became the stars in the heavens over her head, and a star blazed across the sky, and she remembered her mother had told her that when a soul dies, a star falls.
And out of nowhere her grandmother appeared, so warm and so kind, and the child felt so happy to see her. The grandmother picked up her apron and put it around the child, held her close with both arms and the child was content.
But the grandmother began to fade. And the child struck more and more matches to keep her grandmother with her...and more and more...and they began to rise together into the sky where there was no cold and no hunger and no pain. And in the morning, between the houses, the child was found still, and gone.
This tale could well be most familiar to you. Indeed, many children grew up with stories of Hans Christian Andersen. We know that good fables have valuable lessons in them. But sometimes, it is not very easy to decipher what exactly they are trying to tell us.
In Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ interpretation of this story, here is a reminder for one to fight for one’s life.
In a hard, biting-cold environment, the match girl is amidst people who are indifferent. People don’t see the creative potential, which in this case symbolically lies in the matches that child had.
The child decides to resign herself to her “place” or lot in life. Her instincts are dulled. They are not working. All that is left of her is a person who goes about life in a trance. She opts for fantasies rather than take action. And this is a dangerous position to be in.
But what are the steps we need to take, so as to not freeze ourselves as in the case of our Little Match Girl?
Well, firstly, anyone who does not support your gifts - what you have and bring into this world - is really not worth your time. And here are some lessons you may want to consider and take note of – from the Little Match Girl - as you traverse along in life and the journey before you.
Beware of your environment.
The Match Girl was not in an environment where she could thrive. There is no kindling, no firewood. She was surrounded by people who were blind to her and what she had to offer.
Find and Nurture.
Take your ideas to a place where there is support for them. This is an enormous step - to find and to nurture. We are social creatures. We need to be in the right surroundings in order to flourish.
People mostly have wonderful ideas: start a project, renovate the house, pursue their ideas… but these projects need nurturing. Very few of us can create and rely solely on our own steam. To do this we have to take action. Friends who love you and are warm to your ideas are the best things in the world. When one has no friends or are amidst friends who are not nurturing, they could become frozen by anguish and anger. Some people might provide comfort, but it does not necessarily mean they are nurturing.
Here’s the simple difference: if you have a sick plant in a dark room, and you whisper comforting words, it will still die. But if you take the plant out into the sun and water it and then talk to it - this is nurture.
Beware Of Fantasy World.
A person without nurture is inclined to “what if” daydreams. Things like “Some day…”, “If only I had…” “He will change…” And this “self-comforting” fantasy is the very thing that would kill us. It is something we must refuse, especially when we are in a cold, unforgiving place. Allowing yourself to freeze is not an option. It should never be! And for the Little Match Girl, as romantic and sentimental as the story unfolded, the temporary “solace” she had sought, cost her, her life.
What would you have done in her place? Off the bat, we should never allow ourselves to fall into a trap like the type of self-sabotaging “fantasy” our little girl got caught in. There are basically three types of fantasizing – not all bad though:
• Pleasure fantasy. These are daydreams, like dreaming of a tasty ice-cream.
• Intentional imagining. This is part of planning. It represents a vehicle poised and ready to take us forward through action.
• The harmful one. This one that brings everything to a halt. It hinders taking the right action during critical times. It runs far from reality and does not help us figure out the next step, but works only to distract and pull one away from the real issue.
This last category is where the Match Girl falls into. This sort of fantasy comes from thinking that nothing can be done. It is a defeatist, hopeless state that produces this fantasy.
Sometimes it comes in the form of a liquor bottle; sometimes as a needle, or a smoke; but always disguised as something good - cleverly masked and veiled, promising instant gratification, solace or a remedy. Yet in actually fact, it distracts from real life, and takes away from it. It is people like this that wake up dead and frozen at every daybreak. These are all ways to lose intent and focus. Seductive as they seem, such comforting fantasies must never be entertained, as they are lethal distractions from the real work.
The good news is that we are capable of reigniting ourselves. We can stop the addictions and unhealthy trips to such fantasy worlds; heal and hurl ourselves forward towards a new life.
And that is the point of this story: some fantasies need to be left alone for they are dangerous and will suck the life out of you, while concurrently giving you the pretense and picture that all is well… and that all you need to do is dream… or fantasize away.
Source: “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
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