There is an ancient part of the brain in humans that monitors where you are in society in terms of status and value. Based on its calculations of your dominance (points) it regulates serotonin levels in your blood.

Serotonin is in turn responsible in how calm, confident and positive you feel, apart from other things. If you are judged poorly by your peers, then your brain lowers serotonin levels and you become much more reactive both physically and psychologically.

Low levels of serotonin puts you in hyper-alertness which depletes your energy levels and lowers your immune system, making your more prone to diseases and stress. It also makes you impulsive in your decisions.

High levels of serotonin makes you calm, confident, standing tall and straight. You see more opportunities around you, more pleasant to talk to and you are able to plan for the future. You also become a more reliable and thoughtful person for those around you.

How to raise your serotonin levels (and become more confident)?

Physically:

1. The counter mechanism in your brain can go wrong if your day is not structured. So make sure you have good sleeping and eating habits. The routine is necessary for this.

2. Make sure you have protein-heavy breakfast right after waking up. This regulates your insulin levels for the rest of the day, making you calmer and more stable.

3. Bad habits interfere with self-image, so make sure you don’t indulge in daily drinking or taking drugs. It is very easy to slip into addictions and very hard to get out.

Mentally:

1. Recognize that anger is not morally wrong. The good side of it is ability to stand up for what is right, speak truth and motivate movement in times of danger.

2. Anger when properly integrated allows to defend one’s boundaries early on, so that the situation doesn’t escalate to violence. Thise who can bite, generally don’t have to.

3. Get rid of naïve beliefs, such as - people are basically good, no one really wants to hurt anyone else, the threat and use of force is wrong, because it invite abusers to target you.

4. Understand that even good people are capable of doing something bad, including you.

5. Because you are capable of doing bad, you should treat yourself with respect and defend your boundaries. In this way the willingness to stand up for yourself protects everyone from the corruption of the society.

 Let’s sum it up:

• Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

• Face demands of life voluntarily.

• Transform the chaos around you into a habitable order.

• Accept yourself, your vulnerabilities and faults.

• Look straight with your eyes wide open and see life for what it is.

• Make sacrifices to create a productive and meaningful reality.

•  Speak your mind and put your desires forward as if you had a right to them.

• Dare to be dangerous.

If you do that, people, and you, will start to assume you are capable and competent. Then you will become calmer and more confident. More good things will happen to you as you become productively integrated into the society around you.

By standing up for yourself, you will help people around you, become a positive influence in your community and the person who others can rely on. Then you might be able to accept the burdens of life, and find joy.

Source: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson.

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