How Fear of Failure Feeds Procrastination.
Fear of failure bedevils the lives of millions of children, teens, and adults. As a result, procrastination often follows. Fortunately, you can rein in both your fear of failure and procrastination using the same techniques.
Let’s explore the thinking behind the fear of failure. Carol’s example may help. Carol’s fear of failure thoughts were like a thundercloud over her head. She believed she was a failure if she made mistakes or fell short of her goals. To avoid the short-term feeling of failure, she procrastinated and too often experienced the failure she feared.
Scratch the surface of Carol’s fear of failure and you’ll find what is called a “contingency worth belief.” When in this mindset, Carol acted as if her human worth was contingent on exceptional performances. That is, she was worthy if she succeeded at the highest levels and worthless if she fell short of that expectation. She also believed that it was wrong to feel uncomfortable (anxious or fearful) when it came to meeting challenges. She believed that feeling comfortable was a condition for action. The truth is, many challenges in life involve some uncertainty. For Carol, uncertainty was a source of discomfort and triggered her to take evasive actions to dodge discomfort, so she procrastinated on taking action toward her goals.
Carol sabotaged herself by doing safe things that wouldn’t threaten her sense of worth or cause her to feel uncomfortable.
She didn’t take risks. Thus, she settled for less and later felt upset about what she missed. Instead of competing for the merit scholarship she needed for college by showing initiative to take on after-school projects, she played video games every night after school. Because she held back expressing her feelings, a classmate who she wanted to go out on a date started dating someone else. Carol’s sidetracking, by doing “safer” things, was a classic sign of procrastination.
Fear of failure sometimes extends beyond contingent worth thinking and discomfort-dodging actions. For example, an exaggerated fear of disapproval is common among people who fear failure. So, think about your thinking. Look for exaggerations. Awareness is a good place to start combating fear of failure.
How Do We Overcome a Fear of Failure?
Failure, by definition, is falling below a standard or not meeting an objective. Given this definition, failure is inevitable. It is also a prelude to many successes. If we stick with this meaning, what is there to fear? Unfortunately, most people don't stick with this meaning. As practically everyone knows, the word “failure” is often embellished with surplus meaning, some of which is pejorative. The word then starts to be synonymous with worthless, inept, or incompetent. These pejorative words are over-generalizations. They don’t define you. If you fall into this pejorative trap, here is an antidote.
People possess over 18,000 attributes, such as values, emotions, traits, and abilities. Viewed from this perspective, how can you only be one thing, a success or a failure?
Now that you know how to combat an over-generalization, you are in a stronger position to failure-proof yourself by taking a no-failure approach to your self-development. Here is how this works: by viewing your performances as experiments, you make a radical shift from contingency thinking to learning what works and what doesn’t and where you need to improve. When you take this experimental approach to self-development, you may discover a path to self-confidence. With this renewed perspective, fear of failure will soon lose its grip on your decision making, allowing you to achieve your goals.
Good luck in your pursuits!
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