From early childhood relationships with others play a key role in shaping how our brain grows and develops. Here are two typical stories showing how childhood trauma affects the person’s development.

Jon

Jon was a happy baby, at least until his mum got a new boyfriend and the violence began. As a young child, he could tell when trouble was brewing and get out of the way. But sometimes he couldn't hide in time. He was sometimes the victim. Worse was the feeling of helplessness watching his mother being hit.

One day, shortly after his 10th birthday there was a serious incident which meant his mum had to be taken into hospital. Things began to change soon after that. Doctors and other adults began to speak to him. It was confusing and scary. He was worried about losing his mum, who was often sad and withdrawn. Jon felt angry and powerless.

As he grew older, Jon began to really enjoy sport. Naturally athletic, it was one thing he felt he might be able to do well. When he was 15 years old, his teacher suggested he join the school’s senior swim team. What should have been a fun experience became incredibly challenging for Jon to manage. He struggled to see himself as talented. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be on the team?

One day, when he was messing around in the pool with his teammate Alex, he felt attacked. The anger he had bottled up inside came out.

His coach faced a difficult decision: how should she respond?

JASMINE

As a young child Jasmine experienced considerable neglect and often missed school. She was often left to fend for herself at home. Eventually, it was decided that she should go into foster care.

Now 8 years old, Jasmine was recently placed with a new carer and had to move to a different area. This meant a new school. For Jasmine this was scary and she tried everything possible to avoid going. Her new foster carer explained why it was important to get an education and make friends. She walked Jasmine to the school gates every day, and spoke to her teachers about her needs.

The children at her new school were friendly, but Jasmine didn’t feel like she fitted in. When a group of her classmates approached her, she worried that they wanted to make fun of her. Instead, they showed her a cool new toy. She was not sure what to do or say, so she looked down and stepped away. She felt like she wasn’t good enough.

Her classmates found her behaviour sometimes strange and confusing. In other words, Jasmine’s past experiences started to play out in ways that risked creating new difficulties for her in her life now.

Next time we will look into ways of preventing traumatic situations happening in households.

As for now, let’s see what UK Trauma Council, who have done an incredible research on this topic, suggests as principles to hold in dealing with such children to promote resilience and recovery:

1. The brain is a plastic, learning organ.

While the brain's ‘plasticity’ is greatest in the early years of life, it is capable of learning and change throughout the lifespan. We know that early experiences of abuse and neglect can influence brain system development in unhelpful ways. Equally, the brain can adapt again in response to new positive experiences. Exploration, play, and relationships can create opportunities for the brain to keep learning.

2. The brain learns through trusting relationships.

If we are with people we know and trust then our minds are more open to new experiences. We are open to trying something new or to changing our beliefs about the world and other people. The capacity of the brain to learn in everyday life depends on relationships with trusted others. A lack of trust can make us feel isolated and disengaged – even if we are with others – and make us less able to learn.

3. Brain adaptations may contribute to behaviour we find challenging.

Early traumatic experiences can mean that the child in our care may not experience the world in the way that we do. Their brains may have adapted to survive a dangerous or unpredictable world. This can mean that they may find it more difficult to regulate and manage their emotions. Having insight into how early experiences influence brain development can help us adopt a more open and curious mindset in our relationships with children who have experienced trauma.

4. Stepping back to reflect can create new ways of thinking.

Stepping back for a moment, rather than reacting instinctively and jumping in to respond has a great value.  Pausing gives us time to reflect, creating a space for new ways of thinking. It can create the opportunity for us to ask questions, be curious, and become open to the possibility of an entirely different sequence of events. The result could be a response that positively impacts relationships under strain, one that has a positive impact on a child’s long-term outcome.

5. Behaviour as communication: What does it mean?

When a child or young person behaves in a way that we find challenging, we need to look beneath the surface. The behaviour may have had an adaptive value for the child’s survival in the past, or it may be a coping mechanism for them now. When a child acts aggressively we can choose to read their behaviour at a surface level. This may lead us down a path of escalating conflict and contribute to relationship breakdown. But, if we can uncover the worries, fears or doubts hiding beneath their behaviour, it is easier to make a connection with the child.

6. By responding differently we can create a different outcome.

All children need appropriate limits and boundaries. The way we respond to a child's behaviour should allow them to feel hopeful rather than a failure. Our responses should make them feel that relationships can be repaired and are not destined to fracture. Create for the child the experience of another mind that is genuinely interested in understanding them. This will open up opportunities for new learning and nurture relationships that have the potential to build a child’s sense of achievement and self-worth.

7. Helping a child make sense of their experience.

Exposure to childhood trauma can lead to alterations in the memory system. This may impact on how a child is able to make sense of the world. We all create narratives or stories that help us make sense of our everyday experience, usually through talking to friends and family. In a very ordinary way a story is constructed that we believe captures what happened. A foster carer – like any parent - by being curious, can play an important role in helping a child create stories about their experience. This allows them to develop understanding.

If the school communicates to the foster parent, they are able to think with the child about things that happen: What triggered that reaction? How were you feeling? What do you think the other child / coach thought was happening? Do you think what happened is like what happened in the playground last month? This can help the child knit together what can feel like a fragmented social experience.

8. Helping ourselves help others.

If we are facing behaviour that we find challenging on a daily basis it can be hard to stay open – to maintain the ability to step back and reflect. We need to attend to our own needs. How do we keep ourselves going? It is important to connect with people who can be open and engaged in thinking with us when the going gets tough. We need to remember who our friends and colleagues are.

We need to prioritise time with other people who can support us. People who can take up the same role for us as we do for the young person we are supporting.

9. Helping (and well-being) is a team effort.

We learn about ourselves and other people through our experiences with the people around us. How other people think, feel, and behave towards us shapes the way we go on to think and feel about other people. The same principle applies when we are helping a child or young person who has experienced trauma. If we feel we're the only person that understands them, it's a reminder to check who's supporting us. We need to work together to build a team – teachers, foster carers, social workers, family, neighbours – with a shared understanding of the child.

To learn more about the research behind these concepts, how exactly trauma affects the child’s brain and what principles are helpful in dealing with such children, you can download illustrated brochure here:

https://uktraumacouncil.org/resources/childhood-trauma-and-the-brain

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